I believe that the one thing more inspiring than any quote, song, or person has ever come up with is the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ. In 2012, I asked Jesus into my heart. At the time, I felt like I had done the right thing. Just a couple of months later, I got baptized. I stood beside the baptistry truly thinking I understood what it meant to give my entire life to Christ. I often times wonder now if I really truly did at the time. Anyways, years past and nothing really changed for me. While everyone said that "once you have made that decision, your life would change forever", I never really felt that change. So, I just kept on living my life without any change. I had it set in my mind that I was now going to Heaven so there was nothing to worry about.
It wasn't until my experience this past year, that I started to really question my salvation. Many times while I was in the midst of my disorder, my mom would ask me if I felt secure in my relationship with Christ. While I might of said yes, I never really did. I called out asking God why He would cause my family to go through this trial. Why He wouldn't just heal me right then and there. I didn't understand why this had to happen to me.
Then came the day I got dropped off at my residential treatment center. It was at this time that God laid upon my heart that while I was there, I needed to share the Gospel, the hope of Christ with the other clients. And, I tried. I thought I could certainly share the wonderful news of Jesus Christ. Whether it meant not laughing at an inappropriate joke or playing Christian music over all of the non-Godly music, I was going to do everything in my power to be "salt and light".
It was not until I discharged my treatment center that I really started to question my salvation. I was not 100% sure if I was going to Heaven, and something told me that I needed to make it right with God. After about three months, when I was in the midst of another spiritual battle, on February 11, 2019, I did it! I rededicated my life to Christ. That time in my life was a huge turning point. I felt like everything about me changed. I really started to realize that as long as I was pleasing God, I no longer needed to worry about my looks, popularity, or any of the selfish traits that got me so caught up in a devastating disorder. I am here to tell you from experience, this realization saved my life. He already has the plan. He already knows our future. Although some days I still struggle with my disorder, I know that I am not alone and my God will carry me through even the darkest of days.
I keep my eyes always on the Lord. For with Him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Pslams 16:8
A essay written by me...
Do not be afraid for I am with you.
God is within her, she will not fail.
I will not be shaken.
God is my refuge.
Fear not for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, you are Mine.
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The pain you feel today is the strength you feel tomorrow.
At any given moment, you have the power to say, "This is not how my story will end."
-Christine Mason Miller
There is no magic cure, no making it go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn't matter anymore.
- Laurie Halse Anderson
Keep your head
God gives His hardest battles to His strongest
Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
- Joshua J.
Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life. Keep the faith. It will all be worth it in the end.